The joy in waiting

Our engagement sunset, photo taken by my sister, "the paparazzi"

A lot of the greatest things that have happened to me were from the result of patience. I had to wait to hear back from the college of my dreams that I got in, I had to wait months before I was hired post-grad, I had to wait for my boyfriend and I to grow before we got back together and continued our relationship as matured and better people, and I had to wait for my boyfriend to propose in the most perfect way.

My fiancé, Joshua, and I could never catch the sunset, but we finally caught one that beats any other sunset we could have seen. Joshua and I have talked about getting engaged before but his proposal was a beautiful surprise. It was personal and intimate as we walked by the pier facing the Manhattan skyline and the sunset. But this magical moment couldn’t have happened without patience.

Relationships take work, and in order to do well on something you need to work carefully. Normally, humans want things according to their time and when it will most benefit them. We don’t think of how our wants may hurt others or how we need to consider others when we make major decisions. Frankly, it’s not always about you.

When you’re in a romantic relationship you learn that it’s always about the other person: you have to put their needs first, you can’t always be right, you have to consider their feelings, and much more.

I can be an impatient person and I thank God that Joshua has more patience than I do. He has taught me to hold back my words, to truly listen and to wait.

Wait. We abuse that word that now it has lost its meaning. We say “wait” when we don’t understand something and need clarification (it’s like saying “like” or “literally” in every sentence), we say “wait” when people walk ahead from us, or we say “wait” when we want people to wait for us to go somewhere. We use the word to make others wait for us, to have something settled at our time and in our terms. So really we’re not practicing patience; we’re really just anxious about time and want it to pause for us and telling others to be patient. And if you’re like me, telling me to wait just makes me irritated and impatient.

I’ve learned that there is joy in waiting. When you’re waiting for something it means you’re waiting for something amazing to happen. Instead of focusing on not being where you want to be, focus on the process and realize that you are on the path for something great to happen. You are on a stepping-stone and there are more stones ahead; everything is laid out for you. Instead of feeling upset about not being where you want to be or not having what you want, just think of what you do have. We even miss what we should just be content with now.

The best things come to those who wait, and you don’t want to miss the blessings that may be laid out before you.

Waiting for something can be a beautiful and joyous time because you may not have exactly what you want, but you do have enough at that moment and things will only get better.

It’s like waiting for the sun to set. It takes a whole day to happen before the sun is ready but eventually it does, and it’s a beautiful view.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

—Jeremiah 29:11

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

— Colossians 3:17

I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

— Philippians 4:10-13